dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
