My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
