This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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