I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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