and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
