You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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