She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
