just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
