i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
