That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize