am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
