They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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