Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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