so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
