i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
