the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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