I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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