she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
