What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
