I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
