so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
