I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
