Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize