dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
