omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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