wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize