I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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