I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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