I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
