The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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