Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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