dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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