im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
