yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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