Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
