and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
