just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
