There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
