I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
