...so i touched it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
