Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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