There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
