True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
