M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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