It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
