in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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