is your mom at the bar?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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