I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
