he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize