If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
