How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
