Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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