miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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