he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's the barista slut.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
