dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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