So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
