If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
