There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
