I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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