Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize