In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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