hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She needs sedatives and a leash
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
