i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
