Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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