just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
