I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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