she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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