Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize