Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
