Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
